Tactical Stapler  

In the office, a stapler is used to bind papers – but that method doesn’t work on the undead and that’s why we use the Swingline 646 Tactical Stapler! It’s a stapler no zombie-hunting office worker should be without!

The Tactical Stapler can firmly attach "Have you seen my wife?" notes to the still-standing telephone poles.

It works as an emergency exfiltration device in those "Oh ♥♥♥♥ I’m about to Die?" moments when you absolutely, positively need to get through a window now.

The Swingline 646 Tactical Stapler even folds into a compact, non-tactical configuration for easy storage and cleaning.

And it still will not kill the undead!

How much would you pay for a beautiful Cherry Red Swingline 646 Tactical Stapler like this?

Before you answer listen: it even comes with a matching shirt to show your love for the Swingline 646 Tactical Staplers!

But wait! There’s much, much more!

We also want you to have this matching Red Swingline Trucker’s Hat!

It covers your head and keeps the sun out of your eyes while letting the undead know you are wielding the single most useless weapon against them! This amazing Red Swingline Trucker’s Hat can even hide your bleeding head wounds and never falls off!

How much would you pay for all these items?

Order now and we will even give you this authentic, camouflage Swingline Tactical Stapler Hat for free! Now the zombies won’t know that you can’t kill them with your beautiful Red Swingline Tactical Stapler!

Now how much will you pay?

You get the Red Swingline 646 Tactical Stapler, The matching Red Swingline Shirt, The Red Swingline Trucker’s Hat, and the Tacti-cool Swingline Camouflage Hat. You get them all, guaranteed by the manufacturer for as long as they hold out against the undead hordes for only 4 easy payments of $20.69.

https://ko-fi.com/orcicorn